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gay fathers

My Dad Is Gay

I recently received an email from the child of a parent who came out when this child was fourteen years old. In preparation for writing an essay about the experience, the child asked me a series of questions. My answer follows each question below.

  1. What was the aha moment that you had when you finally decided to come out to your family? To yourself?

Although the process of accepting my sexual orientation took place over many years, as I wrote in Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight“I just suddenly went gay.”  Continue reading

My Children’s Response to My Coming Out

Having children has always been very important to me, and I have been blessed to have a son and two daughters.  I worry how coming out might impact my relationship with them. How did your coming out affect your relationship with your kids? If you had come out as a younger man, would you have still wanted to be a father?

Being a father was one of my highest priorities.  I lost my father when I was three years old and I had promised myself to be the best father I could possibly be.  A large part of what delayed my coming out was a fear that I was abandoning my relationship with my children and breaking a vow I’d made to my wife. Continue reading

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