stereotypes

Are Women Terrified about Coming Out?

by

Loren,

I just read your comment that concealed sexual orientation is like an abscess begging to be ruptured. Can this be true about women also? I work with a lady who is late middle-age and I think she is struggling with this. Her looks are gay or androgynous. I cannot imagine being that terrified of my sexuality. I feel like I have fallen in love with her.

First let me say that most of my work has been with men, and I don’t want to attempt to mansplain women’s experiences. Women need to do that for themselves. I did ask some women to read my book, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight, to see if they felt their experience paralleled my own.

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First Visit to Clothing Optional Resort

by

Dr. Olson,

I’m very new to all of this.  In fact, I’ve never been with a man sexually, although I’ve thought about it for a long time.  I find myself vacillating between excitement and nervousness over the anticipation.  I made eye contact with someone at the gym today but wasn’t sure what to do next.  I’m considering a weekend at a clothing optional resort, hoping to explore the gay community a bit more. I’m looking for one that isn’t too seedy but one where I can have some good conversations with other like-minded men.

Of course, you’re nervous as well as excited. All very normal.  Cruising goes on everywhere.  Eyes meet, when a glance is held for a bit longer than the look between heterosexual men.  It’s the initial communication of some interest. Once you’re aware of it, you become a participant without even intending to.  It’s a learned response, and once learned, it never goes away. All it means is that you’ve developed some comfort in looking at another man.  Heterosexual men are usually uncomfortable with it and will look away quickly.

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