The Curse of Attraction to Older Gay Men: The Risks of Loving Significantly Older Men

Thomas Gass, a dentist in California, has survived the curse — twice. The curse? Dr. Gass is a gay man whose only sexual attraction is to men significantly older than he is.

Gass lost his first partner, twenty-eight years his senior, through the slowly deteriorating effects of Lou Gehrig’s disease. They had been together for thirteen years.

After recovering from his grief, he found love again with a man eighteen years older, but he endured another tragic loss when his second partner died of pancreatic cancer after they had spent seventeen years together.

Still a relatively young man, Gass might wonder whether or not to take a chance on loving an older man again. Gass and his friends — all of whom had lost older life partners — have labeled their abiding sexual attraction “the curse of being attracted to older men.”


Sign up for Dr. Olson’s Ask the Doc Posts and Newsletter