AUTHOR

Substance use disorder

Alcoholics Anonymous and Honesty about Same-Sex Desires

I’m very conflicted now. I am in my midsixties and have been married since I was in my early twenties. I’ve struggled with depression, alcoholism, and drugs most of my life. The first twenty-five years of my marriage were a complete nightmare for my wife—infidelity, alcohol and drugs, and all the lies and false promises I made. For several years, I have been clean and sober with the help of AA.

My wife and I haven’t had a sexual relationship in several years. I have always had a high sex drive, and one day while surfing Craigslist I decided to try having sex with a man. I did, and I liked it. Honesty is a big part of AA and for staying sober. I am hiding this, and now all I feel is shame and guilt and it has ruined my sex life. Any advice?

Thanks for contacting me. First, congratulations on your sobriety. I know how difficult that struggle is. Substance use disorders are chronic conditions, much like diabetes, that can never be cured but must be managed on a day-to-day basis. Continue reading

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