Daughter with Bisexual Classmate

What advice would you give to a parent whose daughter comes home and says there is a girl in her fifth grade class that says she is bisexual? I had no idea I was anything at that age. Time seems to have passed me by! Fr. Pat Dear Fr. Pat, Most of us didn’t have … Read more

The Ups and Downs of Cam Chatting

Dr. Olson, I’m a sixty-eight-year-old gay man, and I find it difficult to masturbate without some visual stimulation. It seems to work best when I do C2C [cam chatting] with someone else. Maybe it’s an effect of the internet, but sexual fantasies alone are not enough. Is there something wrong with me? Cam Fan   … Read more

Men’s Sexual Attraction to Trans Women

The following two comments came from two very different men, but they have one thing in common: They are both attracted to preoperative, transgender women (a person born a male who has partially transitioned to being a female but still has a penis).

  1. I am laser focused on my attraction to trans women; I feel no sexual attraction in the absence of a penis. I am also attracted to feminine men. I came out to my wife but can’t explain to her why she cannot meet my needs as a gay man.
  2. I’m in my sixties and in a sexless marriage. After discovering “she-males” and “fem boy” gay porn, I decided to give it a try. It turned out to be great sex, both as the penetrative and the penetrated partner. I’d rather be with a woman, but it’s a lot easier hooking up with men than it is with women, and like me, most of them just want sex.

These two men are sexually attracted to the female body but only if that body has a penis. The technical term for this is a mouthful: “gynandromorphophila,” sometimes shortened to GAMP. The technical term is more understandable when broken down into its Greek roots: gyn = female, andro = male, morph = form, philia = love,or in other words, a love for the body of someone who has both male and female characteristics.

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Is Homosexuality Biological?

I am a self-identified gay man who recently stumbled across your book, Finally Out, and it raised some points that I want to ask you about. It seems to me that sexual desire may be learned rather than instinctual. Aren’t instincts and intelligence mutually exclusive? If homosexuality is a biologic instinct, in other words, hard-wired, wouldn’t it just die out?

The debate about whether being gay is nature versus nurture is one that has gone on for a long time and undoubtedly will continue for a long time.  I usually say that 99% of our brain functions at a primitive or primal level and 1% at a rational level.  Of course, these numbers are chosen arbitrarily to make a point.

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