Divorce

Making the Decision to Come Out

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I’m a fifty-year-old man with two sons, ages 23 and 25.  I have struggled with my sexual desires for men for as long as I can remember, and as I get older, it seems harder and harder to resist this, but I have had only very limited experience with men.  How did you decide you are gay and what made you decide to leave your family and come out?

Leaving my wife and two young daughters was one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  I struggled with the decision for many years.  The question of leaving my family and coming out or staying married and trying to repress my desires seemed to have no good answer.

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My Children’s Response to My Coming Out

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Having children has always been very important to me, and I have been blessed to have a son and two daughters.  I worry how coming out might impact my relationship with them. How did your coming out affect your relationship with your kids? If you had come out as a younger man, would you have still wanted to be a father?

Being a father was one of my highest priorities.  I lost my father when I was three years old and I had promised myself to be the best father I could possibly be.  A large part of what delayed my coming out was a fear that I was abandoning my relationship with my children and breaking a vow I’d made to my wife.

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